


im beyond repair (let me be)

by mildlyobsessive



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, Gen, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide, i dont know if this is good, one big tw tbh, probs not - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5186486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildlyobsessive/pseuds/mildlyobsessive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler didn't know if he could force himself to get up in the morning anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	im beyond repair (let me be)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this site, so hopefully it doesn't suck.
> 
> Title from 'Be Ok' by Ingrid Michaelson

Tyler didn't know if he could force himself to get up in the morning anymore.

Come on, what was the point? To feel the pathetic hollowness in his chest ache with every faked smile? To pretend not to notice Josh's worried glances, or the way his eyes darted to Tyler's wrists every time his sleeve slid down his arm?

Tyler couldn't even be considered Josh's best friend at this point. No, he was just a burden; a fragile, broken excuse for a man that, somewhere along the way, Josh had gotten stuck with babysitting.

And, God, Josh didn't deserve that. He shouldn't have to spend every waking moment worrying about Tyler. Because Josh Dun deserved the entire fucking world, and Tyler couldn't even give him happiness.

He hated himself for that.

Tyler hadn't meant for Josh to find out. No one was supposed to find out, ever. It was his disgusting little secret, a fact easily hidden with long sleeves and the aforementioned empty smile. Because the very last thing Tyler wanted was for someone else to cut themselves on his shattered pieces while desperately trying to glue him back together. Dammit, he was Humpty Dumpty, and the sooner he realized that even all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't save him, the better off everyone would be.

But Tyler was incapable of doing anything right, apparently, and of all things, he had forgotten to lock the bathroom door. Jesus, he could still remember the look on Josh's face when he saw Tyler, ghastly pale and leaning against the wall, one hand pressed against his bleeding arm. "Oh God. Oh God, Ty, no."

Tyler remembered how Josh's voice had sounded, destroyed, as if he was crumbling from the inside out. And all he could think, even with his mind foggy from pain and blood loss, was that that was his fault, that he had hurt Josh, and he'd swore he would never do that.

"You're going to be okay, Tyler. Oh God, please, please be okay." Josh was kneeling over him, hands pressed against his wrist, and Tyler didn't have the energy to tell him that he didn't want to be okay, he wanted to be gone.

But Josh had saved him that night (though could it be called saving if the victim didn't want to be saved?), and so here he was, sitting in his bed with a bottle of pills. This time, he'd made sure the door was locked. 

Was he sure about this? 

He didn't know. He didn't want to know, didn't need to know. But he was tired of the pain, the emptiness, everything. Tyler was tired of being alive, and this was his only way to fix that situation. 

Pills poured down his throat, choking him, suffocating him, and he was scared. He was terrified, and he didn't understand why, because hadn't he wanted this? For his breath to be snuffed out, erased by the eerie silence of death? 

Oh God, he couldn't breathe, and his stomach felt like it was eating itself alive, and he wanted to throw up, but he couldn't, because if he did it wouldn't work, and this all needed to be over.

Tyler could hear pounding on the door, could make out Josh's voice, pleading with him to please, please let him in, but Tyler couldn't move anymore.

And then Josh's cries ceased to reach his ears, just as air ceased to pump through his lungs and light ceased to reflect from his eyes.

The door crashed in on itself and Josh's screams broke the eerie silence.


End file.
